Keeping up appearances

Putting the artisan into housework

Think of the old English proverb, Monday is laundry; Tuesday is for cooking and so forth; ending with Sunday is a day of rest. This is another whiz bang idea from Diane. Things get organized and structured. Laundry, I am a mess with laundry, no bloody idea; stains on clothes, clothes all crinkled, and clothes everywhere. Laundry is always done at the last possible moment and then dragged out into a long arduous process. Diane comes in and is the whiz bang wonder lady. Diane advocates:

Different piles for laundry, a revolutionary idea for me! Towels are always kept apart, why? Because they are wet and stinky and can keep the other clothes damp. Separate his and hers and then babies clothes. Hers will be done obviously more frequently and you want to check on the ones that are damp as they will stay wet and moldy which won’t be good news for the rest of the clothes. Wow, I just thought laundry was about separating colors.

Then of course you have to think about how many laundry baskets do you need and what kind. Diane suggested the wooden ones with a lid on the top because they look nicer, meaning they are tidier as a lid can be put on top.

Thinking about laundry has helped me to think about the messy kitchen which is all so common for me. Diane has really helped to set that up. Diane is so excited about these things that as I am cleaning up I think, “bet Diane would be proud”, which boosts my efforts. Jesse does not even notice, which I think is all too common and if I rely on him coming home and saying something it inevitably leads to a let down for me, whereas Diane ALWAYS notices.

KITCHEN

I buy a lot of things in bulk or from the local market so they are not packaged like items from a regular supermarket. I was, of course, just chucking them into the pantry without a care in the world, feeling as though I was “putting the food away”. Diane came over and sorted me out.

Firstly she categorized everything and then she made sure all the lovely glass jars I love to collect were put to use, labeled, dated and sparkling with all the lovely food that was lying around waiting to be eaten by some kind of vermin.

Next she went to town on making sure the surfaces of my kitchen were clean. Not just once a week, but all the time. The surfaces even included giving the sink and the strainer a good clean with baking powder to get it brand spanking new. I thought it a bit f a bore to do all the time but I have incorporated it into my cooking, which I do love to do, and low and behold, it is a much more pleasant experience cooking with a clean kitchen. I also hardly notice I am cleaning up after myself because I do it as it is all happening.

Much easier as well when at a moments notice there is a little baby squealing for attention which requires drop everything and attend.

SLEEPING

This is I think one of the trickiest parts of looking after a baby. Definitely I have wrangled with this and Diane and I have had numerous conversations about this. All of Diane’s kids slept in their crib, apart from her youngest who did so after he was one year old. They had their spot, they were told, ‘this is your bed, and this is your area just for you.’ I, on the other hand, co sleep, should I say all 3 of us co sleep and though it is very lovely at first for everyone at one year old I am wanting to get her out of bed but finding it difficult, very difficult.

Co sleeping, along with breast feeding was a lovely thing to do when Marisol was first born, it made sense. She liked it, mummy liked it, and daddy liked it. As time goes on it becomes more and more evident how much she likes it and how much less mummy and daddy like it. I still love waking up in the morning and seeing her in bed with us, smiling and so happy, ready for the day’s adventure. I just feel it is time for us, as in, husband and wife, to have time together. Marisol knows she is loved and cared for, she also needs to begin to understand that mum and dad need their own time. This, I think, is a long term learning idea but something she can grow up with.

Diane has suggested to encourage Marisol by when she puts her head on the floor or makes a gesture of feeling tired, to speak about that gesture to her, ‘oh Marisol is tired now, look how tired Marisol is, do you think you would like to sleep?’ So there is a constant affirmation of sleep and that sleep is a good thing.

When Marisol was very little I let her sleep downstairs during the day and managed to get her to sleep in her own crib downstairs. Diane kept encouraging this as if it can be done just once then she will do it again. Babies are taught by us, they know what to do by us showing them; we just have to show them!

PRESSURES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Yucky words really. There are daily pressures and responsibilities all the time for everyone whether we like it or not, it is just a question of framing it well.

Diane: Good pressures are when something is encouraging us to be better then we are. Bad pressure is when….

LOVING A CHILD

Everyone loves their child, that is a natural instinct as a parent. I do not understand why you have to teach the child to tell you all the time that you love them; for whom are you asking? Love, I believe, is so much deeper than those 3 words you are always waiting for when you are 15 years old with your first girl crush, I love you.

Babies want to learn how to manipulate you as much as possible. They want to be able to get their way all the time, fairly natural as I like to get my way all the time as well, wouldn’t the world be great if it was like that for all of us! As Diane keeps on reinforcing, they know they are loved, you do not have to remind them all the time, and therefore they can not use this to manipulate you by.

As mums we are now constantly questioning whether or not what we do is right for the baby. The pressure to ‘teach’ the baby everything is a constant in the American society. By the age of five she/he should be bale to read, name the colors blah blah blah. I am not denigrating education I just believe this happens to some extent by itself and that the most important thing a child can learn is imagination and creativity. When you really think about it, reading and writing is something taught by rote; everyone, well mostly everyone, at some learn how to do this…not everyone is taught imagination. This seems not to be encouraged.